In Every Tense of the Word

Jerry and his fellow night shift workers at the sporting goods store, would sometimes pass the time by playing catch with items from the camping department.  Around Christmas time, Doug the Supervisor caught wind of this game and left the following note on the break-room refrigerator:

Because our customers have wanted to present perfect tents to their loved ones as gifts, and inasmuch as we will have wanted them to buy future perfect tents, any employee caught playing Pass Tents should know, that they will be causing Doug the Supervisor to be presently tense, and will be finding themselves unemployed, and only able to live in future progressive tents.